(As Raw comes on the air, Shane McMahon is stood in the ring with a mic.)

Shane McMahon:
Last Thursday on Smackdown, we witnessed a rather shocking turn of events.  At
this moment, I'd like to bring out the man responsible for most of them, he is
Mick Foley, better known as Cactus Jack!

(Foley comes to the ring, being booed by the fans for his actions on Smackdown
last week.)

Shane McMahon:
You know, I seriously don't know what to make of you  One minute, you're taking
sever liberties by attacking Ric Flair in the locker room, and the next minute
you're teaming with Evolution.  Just a few weeks ago, I made a deal with Shawn
Michaels that he would have to take you out if he won the Intercontinental
Title on Raw, but now it seems you're hell bent on taking yourself out, Mick.
What the hell is going on with you?

Cactus Jack:
First of all, there's a couple of things I want to address.  I did not attack
Ric Flair last week.  Do you seriously think Evolution would want to team with
me if I had?  Come on, Shane!  Secondly, it's about time this Mick crap came
to an end.  Do you know who I am?  I'M CACTUS JACK!  I'm not Mick Foley any
more.  Mick Foley is week, Mick Foley is a coward.  Mick Foley puts his friends
and his tag team partners ahead of what's really important, and that's the WWE
Championship.  CACTUS JACK puts the title first, which is why, when I won the
right to enter the elimination chamber, I was able to take over Mick Foley in
mind, body and soul, that's why I allowed Shawn Michaels to be defeated in the 
tag team battle royal.  Mick doesn't live here anymore Shane, Cactus Jack does.
And Cactus Jack will forsake all others to become the WWE Champion.

Shane McMahon:
Well, then if you didn't attack Ric Flair, who did?

(As Shane's sentence finishes, the sound of drums starts to fill the arena,
followed by the distinct sound of bag pipes.  Out onto the ramp comes Rowdy
Roddy Piper to an amazing roar from the crowd.  As the cheers slowly die down,
Piper gets on the mic.)

Roddy Piper:
Ha...what's the matter Shane..ha..are you surprised to see me?  I guess you
would be, considering it's just about 5 months since you fired me!  Ha..well,
it looks like old Roddy Piper is back, jack, and you might well be wondering
why.

You see Shane, it was only a few weeks ago, that your bastard father gave me
a call.  He said "Roddy, we need you", and I said "really, what you need old
Roddy Piper for, ya grey-haired bastard"?  So Vince tells me that his piece
of shit son is starting to get a little power-hungry, and he needs to be taken
down a notch or two.  So we talk, and we negotiate, and then we talk a little
more, and what it boils down to...ha...is that you're looking at the brand new
co-commissioner here in WWE!

Shane McMahon:
WHAT?!?!  Tell me you're joking Piper.  This isn't happening.

Roddy Piper:
It is happening, because your bastard father said so.  And there's not a damn
thing you can do about it.  Roddy Piper is here on the clean-up job, ready
to clean up the mess you've made, while making a little noise of my own.  You
saw what happened to Flair last week?  Ha....yeah, that was me!  And it'll
happen again at Summerslam, because I'm gonna fight that old fossil and beat
him within an inch of his life, and then, I'm gonna turn my attention back to
making this company a better place.  I've already signed a few guys, I've made
some matches, and made some stipulations, like Evolution banned from ringside
for tonight's Orton/Rock match.

I've even made another match for tonight, with Triple H and Chris Benoit going
one on one.  And I've made for you Cactus Jack, whatever the hell you wanna
call yourself.  You're fighting Chris Jericho tonight, and guess what?  You're
fighting him right now!